There is sunshine coming through my curtains, and the streets are lined with trees in full, glorious bloom. I love spring and the mental, emotional lift it brings!
Pneumonia is gone, thank God. We’re happy & healthy and trying to stay that way.
Wanted to post about this giveaway…I’ve had my eye on their bags and covet them!
Have you seen all the beautiful new products & contest for pro photographers on http://www.DesignAglow.com?
So, three weeks ago, I started running a fever. And coughing. After five days, I finally went to see my doctor: turns out, I had pneumonia.
Isn’t pneumonia one of those things that went the way of the dinosaur? I mean, I know a small handful of people who have had it (including my daughter), but it still seems obsolete to me.
Needless to say, I was dead to the world for almost a week and a half. I missed nearly nine days of work, between caring for Sofia the week before and then my own sickness. She’s fine (it was just a virus) but I’ve been slowly coming back.
And then, this week hit: I was back to work full days, with two special events this weekend (I work for an arts non-profit, so it’s all hands on deck). Between deadlines that gathered dust while I was gone, and preparation for the events, PLUS my own life & home to care for, it’s been a very, very long week. The hubby has been great and was my backbone while I was sick, but even he’s been on his last bit of strength after carrying most of the weight for two weeks.
Thankfully, I’ve been able to both rest this weekend and catch up a bit today. The sun is shining and we opened up the curtains and cut off the heat for a few hours in the house. It’s like a breath of fresh air.
All of this to say: I feel like February sort of swallowed me alive. And that this week has been intense. Most of the time, we’re running around like crazy trying to get everyone where they need to go on time, making sure we’re keeping up with deadlines and stocking the fridge and keeping the pile of dishes from ridiculous heights. And yes: I realize this is only one kid. That we haven’t even seen anything yet.
But last week, in the middle of the whirlwind, I saw this episode of House and gosh, but it was great. So often, tv shows seem to give only the gloss of motherhood, of working motherhood. Or show the extremes: you’re either a shabby, tired housewife (this irritates me so much!) or a sharky working woman. And House hasn’t shown much of Dr. Cuddy except as a working mother; becoming a mother was an important plotline, but because the diagnoses were the point of the show, we haven’t seen more than brief mentions of her life as a mother.
And then last week’s episode was devoted entirely to Dr. Cuddy (to the point that you only saw the diagnostic team when they were asking her permission for certain tests, etc.).
If nothing else, watch the first five minutes or so: the whole time, I was like yes! That’s it! So true! Of course, she’s got a nanny, but still, it was a familiar montage. But TELL me you aren’t annoyed with her boyfriend’s insistence on a morning rendezvous, how he prances in, oblivious to everything she had to do to get to the office!
If you have time, the rest of the episode is interesting as far as gender politics. The plotlines are a bit far fetched and dramatic, but it’s also raw: she gets called a bitch & an an idiot twice. And the whole stereotype that women can’t be successful in business because “emotions” get in the way is thrown in there, too. I would assume it’s intentional that she doesn’t cry during the whole thing, which actually, almost wasn’t believeable (if it were me, I would have needed a minute in the bathroom to collect myself). But what’s great is that not only didn’t she cry, but her only display of emotion is concern for her daughter (in private) and then a moment of joy later in the episode. No tears, no drama, just calm leadership through the frenzied day.
It was a relief to see, even if it was fictional, and overwrought in its own way.
I’m curious to hear your reaction: there’s a cross section of working moms, stay-at-home-moms, and everything in between, in my collection of reader friends. Even if you don’t have time to watch the whole episode, tell me what you think of those first few minutes, and how it relates (or maybe doesn’t) to what you’re experiencing as a mother.
I hope you’re all experiencing better health that I have! And that sunshine is making is return to your corners of the world.
Here’s to keeping our heads above water! 🙂
I am home sick today. The house is strangely quiet, and I feel like a little mouse, so small in this space.
No matter how old I will get, I will always want my mom nearby when I’m sick.
Last week, before I got sick and when my daughter was sluggish with a fever (ahem, yes, she passed it on, so generous!), I cuddled with her while we watched mindless tv for a bit. She was so exhausted, sick of being sick, going on day three (four?) of a fever. She put her wee head on my shoulder, curled into my arms like the newborn she once was, and just cuddled.
It’s strange, still, to now be the mother. To think that when my daughter is 28, perhaps with her own family (!!) that she may be sick one day and think of me.
And it’s thoughts like that which make me strive to be a better mother. To provide comfort and nurture in our home.
But for today? Today, in order to be a good mommy & wife, I’m being good to myself. So I’m shutting the laptop and crawling back into bed for a couple of hours. But secretly, I’m wishing my mom was downstairs warming up a mug of lemon juice with honey.
I’ve been thinking a lot about finding time in the day….time to read a book when it’s not twenty minutes past when I should have gone to sleep, time to finally dust the mantle or arrange the knick knacks that were thrown out of a box when we moved in a year ago. Time to write, time to paint. Time to fix breakfast in the morning. Time to take a bath (I don’t remember when the last time this was, and I have a perfect-for-bubble-baths clawfoot tub. And yes, I’ve showered, thank you).
I know everything above is a luxury, except breakfast. But I don’t know how I could squeeze in another second to do just about any of these things. I never thought I’d be a working mom (not that you SAHMs have luxurious afternoons or anything–I realize you work longer hours than I do most of the time!). But it seems like between the morning hustle, the brief daycare-then-work routine, then whatever I can muster at the end of the day…it just is a relentless hamster wheel.
And sometimes, I just want off the hamster wheel, just for a little while. Not an escape from motherhood or marriage, but just a way to hit pause without somehow leaving anyone hanging.
I’m beginning to see the wisdom in asking for a day to myself for my birthday and might just make a habit of it. In the meantime, for the next 353 days, I want to learn how to be more efficient. How to not waste energy or duplicate efforts, with the goal of breathing a little more, of maybe, someday having a few minutes to soak in the tub with a book of poetry and actually pay attention to the words on the page.
Thanks for letting me rant. I think I just needed to get that off my chest!
Speaking of being creative, there were a few cobwebs on the exhibits page. If anyone would like a postcard from the upcoming exhibit of dance photography, let me know!
I’ve posted about this before: the only way to be creative (paint, draw, write) is to wake up before the rest of the house stirs, climb the stairs into my attic studio, and lose myself for a few minutes. But I can still count the number of times I’ve done this on one hand, because sleep is precious, too, and I’m running on all cylinders most days.
This morning, though, I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I did it: I climbed the stairs, I dipped the brushes, I worked on a painting that’s been sitting dormant too long. I played a cassette tape (remember those?) of a radio show I did once, and the songs were as true now as they were then. Meaning, I’m still the same girl inside, just : now wife, now mother, now “grown up.” Some of the old struggles are mercifully gone. New ones have risen to take their place. Yet the songs resonate still:
this is what it’s like
finding your feet again
the part of you that couldn’t
finally thinks you can
-Denison Witmer, “Finding Your Feet Again”
Well, if I could tame all of my desires
Wait out the weather that howls in my brain
Because it seems that it’s always changing
The wind’s indecision, the sorrowful rain
I was a postcard, I was a record
I was a camera until I went blind
Now I’m riding all over this island
Looking for something to open my eyes
-Bright Eyes, “Train Underwater”
I’ve been entering giveaways in hopes of winning some last minute Christmas presents. It’s always worth a try, right?
1) Love this: An Island Life is giving away a Posh Party Box. My favorite is the Sugar & Spice baking party, since it comes with cute chef’s hats. I’m tucking this idea away for a future birthday party (if Sofia likes to bake, that is!). Ended! 3) A $250 Visa Giftcard from An Island Life. Um, yes, please!? Ended!
4) Holy Love! Check out this Holiday giveaway from Fantabulously Frugal.
6) Another gift idea for my little peanut: a Playmobile set, thanks to A Little Outnumbered.
7) There are awesome giveaways all month at the Apartment Therapy websites (I’m loving the items on the Kitchn and Oh Dee Doh sites, myself!).
8) Melinda Joy is giving away a baking mix from Vintage Bakeshop. This would make a great addition to a gift basket. I want to try the Champagne cupcakes myself!
9) I enjoyed Julie & Julia quite a bit. Erin Cooks is giving away the DVD!
12) OnSugar is giving away $1000 worth of fashion items. Sign me up, please!