Serenity

13 February 2009 at 9:31 am Leave a comment

I am writing once again as my baby & husband sleep. Thanks to my internal alarm clock, I’m wide awake and trying to ignore, for a moment, the massive clutter that surrounds me. We live in a lovely apartment in a lovely Victorian home. The living room is quite small, even for apartment standards, and with a sofa, chair, coffee table & playpen, we are in a maze every day. I am grateful for the roof over my head, and for the furniture we are blessed with – but I feel a bit squeezed. We closed on the house on Monday, so I have slowly begun filing the bills on my desk, starting boxes for Goodwill, cleaning out the refrigerator, but I am sitting here on the couch feeling as though my arms are pressed against my body, shoulders clenched, trapped by stuff. 

One goal for the new house: a place for everything, and everything in its place. Yes, I have an infant. Yes, there’s going to be more space for more stuff to accumulate faster! And soon, a baby crawling, then walking, and even more toys for her to scatter. But lately, my husband and I have begun to deal with each piece of mail when it arrives. Or, put something away after we use it. And in this moment, with the sunshine coming through the window against my shriveling potted plants (whoops – thankfully plant food works wonders!), I have hope that we can live an uncluttered life in our new home. 

 

Yesterday I scheduled a meeting with my boss to talk about the terms of my return to the office (my maternity leave ends today). An hour before, my cell phone drowned in the dirty dishes. My husband’s meeting was at 2 p.m. and not 4 p.m., but thankfully he could still take our daughter while I met with my boss at a coffeeshop (his choice of location). I was a wreck on the way over, but prayed for a moment and decided there was no point in panicking. I had no phone. I had just enough time to drop off Sofia and head over. I made it early and just breathed. My boss and I chatted for quite a bit about what was happening at our arts nonprofit – and then he asked, in about as many words, what I would like (or need) my schedule to look like. 

And so: I will work in the office in the morning, then pick up my sweet baby from daycare and work from home the rest of the day. This is an experiment, one that can end at any time if either of us feel it’s no longer working. 

 

So, so thankful!!!

 

 

On my (cluttered) fridge door is one of those lovely Quotable magnets: 

“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” – unknown

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Of love & art On juggling orange cupcakes and multiple deadlines

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